Evening Comics Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Immigration Program

TV's top comedians spent their broadcast ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's newly unveiled immigration initiative, called the "golden visa," characterizing it as a obvious pay-to-play scheme for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Sarcastic Spin

Kicking off his program, Stephen Colbert presented a mock holiday tune directed at the president. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, and then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... ruins each thing he comes into contact with."

The focus was the controversial program which permits foreign individuals to purchase U.S. legal status for the price of $1 million dollars, or "platinum" tier for five million. A government website promises processing "faster than ever."

"A quick message here to wealthy foreigners: prior to you pony up, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He noted that the scheme is also designed to "get cash" from firms wishing to hire skilled workers, involving large payments. "That's a lot of fees, however if you register, you also get two free nights at a property of your selection – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he said.

"The most thorough screening the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these people absolutely are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."

"Here's a card that will allow affluent overseas citizens to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get official visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choice."

"Maybe it's time to update that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the application, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Economic Struggles

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's slipping approval ratings amid financial concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a another term since they were mad about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a attempt to tackle affordability, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a selection of food items, where he reacted peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"He's so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting right-leaning media arguments of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like what FIFA did," he remarked.